Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Glamour Shots - Part One

Miss Tilly has an unhealthy obsession with Glamour Shots photos. Remember those photo places in the mall where you'd drop Mom or Grandma's ass off for three hours while you worked the men's room, or what ever you do do at a mall?

Here are some faves - let your captions speak my children!

Victim #1 - Mrs. Natalie Attired
This seems to be a very common pose for Glamour Shots - grabbing the color as if to say, "Yeah, that's right bitch! I'm smokin with my leather Member's Only jacket."

Victim #2 - Mrs. Rhoda Lott
"Hey. Did you happen to see, the most beautiful girl in the world? And was she . ."
OMG! Where does one begin? It looks like her face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a chain.

Victim #3 - Miss Dinah Ponme
"Hey big boy! I've hidden a twinkie somewhere on my body. Wanna try and find it?"
Now I know why gold lame has gotten so expensive. Someone cornered the market.

Victim #4 - Miss Holly Goheavily
Someone got a Bedazzler for Christmas. And that pose! It says, "Waiter, I will have the Idaho Muscatel after all."

Victim #5 - Mrs. Rusty Hinges
Where do I start? The same awful "collar pose" but it has gone sassy with a black lace glove.

Victim #6 - Miss Vivian Von Brokenhymen
This seems to be the second most popular pose - the one hander. But is it just me being Evilena, but does she look like a tard? I mean not a stupid person but a mongoloid?

Victim #6 - Cuntalina Fucklebitch
That hair and those 80's earrings. Collar pose. You just know she beats her children.


Mark in DE said...

I'd bet my paycheck that #6 used to be a man.

Mark :-)

Shirley Heezgay! said...

i was just thinking the same thing about 'miss' fucklebitch.

These are frightening.

thombeau said...

I love these!

Mitzi said...

Have you noticed that they're all head and shoulder shots.

Mrs. Natalie Attired
Wearing a fushia pink leather jacket, ideal for showing him or her (more likely her!) who's boss.

Mrs. Rhoda Lott
Looks like Winston Churchill in drag. She has got that look of desperation in her eyes, she needs a man!

Miss Dinah Ponme
Always will be a Miss, Jabba the Hut has more sex appeal. Make-up by Mother Goose inc. She stole the black wig from an amateur dramatic production of The Mikado!

Miss Holly Goheavily
The better looking of the coven and she knows it.

Mrs. Rusty Hinges
Performs on cruise ships as a Celine Dion impersonator.

Miss Vivian Von Brokenhymen
(AKA Dimples)
Don't be fooled by her friendly face she is a serial killer. yes B&W photographs are very flattering especially if one has mottled skin tones.

Cuntalina Fucklebitch
Man? woman? Hybrid

joe*to*hell said...

the names....brilliant