Thursday, April 17, 2008

Mad Magazine Fold-Ins

When Miss Tills is not reading the latest Glamour, Vogue, or some fashion rag, she is a big fan of Mad Magazine "fold-ins". Admit it - if you grew up in the 60s or 70s you thought they were funny as hell.

How there is a website where you can use vintage fold-ins online. Cool as shit right here.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Glamour Shots - Part One

Miss Tilly has an unhealthy obsession with Glamour Shots photos. Remember those photo places in the mall where you'd drop Mom or Grandma's ass off for three hours while you worked the men's room, or what ever you do do at a mall?

Here are some faves - let your captions speak my children!

Victim #1 - Mrs. Natalie Attired
This seems to be a very common pose for Glamour Shots - grabbing the color as if to say, "Yeah, that's right bitch! I'm smokin with my leather Member's Only jacket."

Victim #2 - Mrs. Rhoda Lott
"Hey. Did you happen to see, the most beautiful girl in the world? And was she . ."
OMG! Where does one begin? It looks like her face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a chain.

Victim #3 - Miss Dinah Ponme
"Hey big boy! I've hidden a twinkie somewhere on my body. Wanna try and find it?"
Now I know why gold lame has gotten so expensive. Someone cornered the market.

Victim #4 - Miss Holly Goheavily
Someone got a Bedazzler for Christmas. And that pose! It says, "Waiter, I will have the Idaho Muscatel after all."

Victim #5 - Mrs. Rusty Hinges
Where do I start? The same awful "collar pose" but it has gone sassy with a black lace glove.

Victim #6 - Miss Vivian Von Brokenhymen
This seems to be the second most popular pose - the one hander. But is it just me being Evilena, but does she look like a tard? I mean not a stupid person but a mongoloid?

Victim #6 - Cuntalina Fucklebitch
That hair and those 80's earrings. Collar pose. You just know she beats her children.

Star of . . .

this week's After School Special - Thirteen, Going On Tacky.

You Can Dance If You Want To . . .

. . . you can leave your friends behind. And it looks like you did!

Pretty As A Picture . . .

too beautiful for words!

WTF! I had to look closely to make sure they only had 5 fingers on each hand. And what's with the Laura Ingalls Wilder dresses?

Thursday, April 10, 2008

More Proof of Amazon's Sex Toy Business

As further proof that Amazon has decided to enter the sex toy market, they've even tried passing vibrators off as kids' toys. I give you Exhibit A:

The Nimbus 2000 Harry Potter Broomstick which was sold on Amazon until it was pulled off their site a few years back. I guess the kiddies figured out that it was long and hard and needed lots of D-sized batteries.

But look at some of the reviews posted by these daft mothers. I think they've spent too much time under the kitchen sink huffing Lysol while the kids are at school. I mean, only one of them caught on:

- I recently bought this for my son, Vantro. He's a HUGE Harry Potter fan. Seen the movie 32 times (in the theaters) and made the paper. This toy gives him the ability to fly around the house zapping things. My only problem I see with the toy is the batteries drain too fast and his sister fights him over it, so now I need to buy her one.

- When my 12 year old daughter asked for this for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but she seems to LOVE it. Her friends love it too! They play for hours in her bedroom with this great toy. They really seem to like the special effects it offers (the sound effects and vibrating). My oldest daughter (17) really likes it too! I reccomend this for all children.

- My 12 year old daughter is a big Harry Potter fan, and loved the part with the Nimbus 2000, so I decided to buy her this toy. I was afraid she would think it was too babyish, but she LOVES this toy. Even my daughter's friends enjoy playing with this fun toy. I was surprised at how long they can just sit in her room and play with this magic broomstick! A great buy for any Harry Potter fan! :)

- This toy was #1 on my daughter's Christmas list. So what the heck, although it has no educational value I figured it would be good for imaginative play. It wasn't until after she opened her gift and started playing with it that I realized that the toy may offer a more than sensational experience. The broomstick has cute sound effects and ***VIBRATES*** when they put it between their legs to fly. Come on---what were the creators of this toy thinking? She'll keep playing with the Nimbus 2000, but with the batteries removed.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Amazon - In The Dildo Business?

Who knew? Not I until I performed an innocent search for an item at Amazon the other day. And lookie what popped up:

WTF? And they now seem to be trying to edge out places like Good Vibrations or Toys in Babeland for the mail order dildo market.

The best part is reading the reviews like this one from someone who didn't like the product:

I've always been unnaturally good at this and am an enthusiastic practitioner, so I can't conceive of not enjoying this or being good at it, but I can offer this advice: PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE! Practice does make perfect. Oh, and SAFETY FIRST!!! I'm sure there's plenty in your kitchen that can do what this product claims to do. Maybe chocolate syrup, jam, honey, maple get where I'm going here... I should have known not to mess with perfection...

Can't Hold It In No More!

Oooooh I love me some Millie Jackson. She had, hands down, the nastiest album cover way back in the day. Plus one of my favorite songs is the "Fuck You Symphony." You haven't lived till you seen some big ass drag queen lip synch to it - usually after some bad ass group of hecklers has been working her last gay nerve.

Not that I would know. Listen and enjoy!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Who Dat?

Mariah Carey hits the Burger King drive-thru on the way home from her wedding to Jay-Z.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Put Down The Fork!

Well, while Miss Naomi Campbell was having a conniption fit over a lost piece of luggage at Heathrow's new Terminal 5 last week, this woman was sitting patiently while her luggage came down that chute.

Sweet fancy Moses! I think she's packed a week's worth of unmentionables in those polyester stretch pants! And you know, just like Naomi, this bitch is a risk taker - who else would sit on a metal folding chair with Kathleen Turner stuffed down one pant leg and Kyrstie Alley down the other?

Well, we all know Miss Naomi could've gotten all that stuff, and more, up her own luggage chute . . .